Question: I’m in a relationship with someone who is now beginning to deal with issues of trauma from Vietnam. He is getting some help and it’s painful to watch him go through it. I see his soul as so beautiful and whole, yet that does not always help. How can I best support him?
Answer: The way that you can best support another individual is by holding a space within yourself of love. In other words, continue to care for yourself in loving ways. Hold compassion for yourself and this will enable you to create a space to be a compassionate friend for another as well.
Really, we cannot do another’s work. We cannot transform them. It is their mission. It is their journey. But, we can assist, by respecting what it is that they are sensing, knowing, feeling, or experiencing. By understanding that they have needs, that they have desires, and that they also have a process to go through, we affirm compassion and understanding.
This is a co-creation in itself. This compassion and understanding supports the friendship and will create trust. This will help them to feel safe in being themselves. They will feel safe to allow whatever vulnerability or whatever fear to come forth. They will feel nourished.
Therefore, by continuing to love yourself and creating a space for all of your parts to also have expression, you will also hold a vibration that in turn will help others. And this will help your friend.
Thank you, dear one, for this question.
— Alana
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