The Practice of Self Love


Since 1992, I've had the privilege of co-facilitating hundreds of one-on-one and group sessions with Alana. It's been an incredible privilege for me. Early on I noticed a pattern in how Alana worked with people. It became clear that it didn't matter what outcome they wanted for their session. The pattern was always there, and here it is: If self-love is not present, then it the the first priority.

Self-love means "fueling" our lives with the energy we need. It means "coming to our senses"--returning to the timeless present moment. Self-love is about self-care. Taking care of ourselves.

Alana suggested many different types of thought and action, but the underlying pattern was always the same. She invited people to engage in learning what excited them (we called this "finding and using your inner excitement meter, your Excitometer"). She encouraged them to slow down and discover the beauty all around them. It was interesting to me that many people would immediately jump to things that took a lot of time and money: going on an exotic tropical vacation, buying a new home, going to a luxurious health spa, shopping for a completely new wardrobe, etc. Well, if you're wealthy, these things might do the trick (or maybe not...). However, having lots of financial resources has very little, if anything, to do with self-love. Here are a few examples of how Alana encouraged listeners toward self-love:

Spend some time with a beautiful object in nature

Take a long, warm bath

Spend some time writing your thoughts down in a journal

Enjoy savoring a sensible quantity of a favorite food

Wear an item of clothing you love, appreciating its color and texture.

Enjoy smelling a fragrance that you love

Take a talk-walk with a friend, or someone with whom you would like to develop a friendship

Get the idea? If the idea of refueling your life through self-love appeals to you, I invite you to play with this process right away, while it's on your mind. Simply think of something that will fill some, or all, of your senses (sight, sound, touch, emotion, taste, smell).

Get ready, set, play!

--by Kirk