Questioner: In relationships, how does it help to have an observer, a part of us that is watching our actions and responses, as well as our feeling and emotions?
Alana: Developing an inner observer allows us to see ourselves in an impartial way. In other words, you can view yourself and see what it is you are truthfully expressing, rather than being in automatic and expressing without knowing why you do the things you do. It helps, you see, what it is that you really value and need. It is how an individual becomes a conscious person. And when you create conscious awareness, you can recognize that you have an intention behind your actions.
When you recognize that you have intention, then you know where to put your attention. This attention empowers your intention to create what you like. In turn, this will aid in your communication with your partner. This will help support your communication, so that the two of you can find more satisfaction in your relationship. As you find satisfaction in your relationship, it will grow and expand and love will be plentiful.
I also want to add that we all have female and male aspects within us. Because men have been encouraged to hide their feelings in the world--to be strong--they are a little more out of touch with their inner feminine side. Recognize that men have been doing what they feel is wise and what they feel will support their role, and what they think is honorable. This is an example of recognizing the greater intention. When a male vibration feels that he is understood and not to blame--that he is not responsible for the well being of everyone around him, and their happiness--then the male will begin to soften; and his feminine aspects will be more active in him. He will be more adept at expressing more fully.
Questioner: So an observer can help guide the relationship and support in deepening your ability to communicate and understand your deeper motivations.