Chapter Two Exercise: The Clarity Process


Here is an exercise you can do when you are stuck in a conflict or dilemma.

First, breathe all the way out...and then gently allow the air to return fully to your lungs.

Now, ask yourself the following questions and write down your answers:

  • Have I taken a moment to be filled with universal love?
  • How can this dilemma serve me?
  • Am I holding the other person as capable?
  • How can I be in this co-creation and still get my needs met?
  • How important is it for me today to have this result?
  • Is it possible that other options might work just as well or better for me?

Alana: Self-love is so important in order to allow all of your parts to be heard. The more we listen to all aspects of our nature, the easier it is for our parts to blend in with each other. When we are nourished, we have a lot more understanding and compassion for our various parts. When you know yourself, then your parts know that they will be comforted. Then they will blend and move into alignment with your grandest of intentions. If you do not know yourself, you may find a part within that will speak loudly, because it wants you to know it is present and that it exists within you.

Kirk: Most of the unconscious patterns of our lives—the thoughts, emotions, and actions generated by our many parts—were created when we were children. These patterns have been constantly reinforced since our early years. They exist on many levels and go by many labels, including our identity, self-image, self-worth, beliefs, values, needs, strategies, capabilities, skills, habits, conditioning, etc. If you think of everyone’s unconscious patterns as one big unconscious— sometimes called the “collective unconscious”—the majority of the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors could be described as one huge set of habits. The problem is that many of these habits are based on fear. If we dissect them down to their initial essence, we will often find that many of them are based on the illusion of separation. The illusion of separation creates the illusion of scarcity. I see these two illusions, separation and scarcity, as being the deepest wounds and the greatest opportunities to discover who we truly are.

Alana: Well-said, Kirk. Here is one very simple tool anyone can use. When you find yourself “in habit” say, “Oh, I am in habit.” Then be compassionate that you were in habit. This can be called “non-judgmental awareness.” And we will talk more of this in one of the following sacred steps.

Kirk: Thank you, Alana.

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