Giving and Receiving When Love Seems Scare


"Scarcity of love is as much an illusion as scarcity of oxygen."

Kirk: It seems to me that the key is for each of us to continually love ourselves in tangible ways. If we are not full, we seem to create all kinds of either-or dilemmas. For example, in a relationship we may say to ourselves, “Am I going to take care of me now or take care of you now? I don’t want to be selfish, I want to be giving.” Then we go ahead and meet the other person’s needs—at least that is the illusion—and we put our own wants and desires aside.

Then eventually some of our inner parts begin rebelling. They say, “Well, what about me? I did all those things for them, but they did very little for me. Nobody truly loves me.” It may sound childish, but we all do have some childlike parts within our natures.

Sometimes we then verbalize these kinds of inner conflicts and use them to blame the person with whom we’re relating. Or we play the victim role, which is the opposite side of the same energy. These kinds of reactions can go on and on. It appears that there isn't enough love to go around, and that we need to pick who receives the seemingly scarce amount that is available.

Alana: Yes, that is the way it appears isn't it? However, scarcity of love is as much an illusion as scarcity of oxygen. Imagine deciding to engage in your relationships under water. You will not be able to breathe since you don’t have gills like a fish. Eventually, when the pain becomes too intense, you will remember to come up above the surface and take a breath.

Then you will realize, “Oh, I am filled with God. I am filled with love.” You will surrender for a moment or two. But then you will move back to your habit pattern and say, “Now let me go back under the water and suffer under the illusion of scarcity some more.” (Laughter)

< previous next >