The Nature of Recreating Life Patterns


"The universe just loves, and it wishes to give back to you what you desire."

Kirk: I have a fictional scenario: Bob and Betty are in a relationship. Betty is doing things that Bob does not want her to do. Betty is also not doing things that Bob wants her to do. Bob feels that Betty must do what he wants (and stop doing what he doesn’t want) in order for him to feel loved by her. He says to himself, “If she really loved me—and she always says she does—she would do what I want and stop doing what I don’t want.”

When we go and talk to Betty, she has the same story but in reverse! She has her own lists of “dos and donts” for Bob.

Their lists don’t match but they “love” each other and keep trying to work it out. However, the more they “work on it” the more they seem to fight. When one of them compromises and does it the other person’s way, they notice that it doesn’t feel good. They each then “keep track” of who owes what to the other, but their perceptions of who has made the most compromises are different. But they love each other and want to work it out. So they keep circling around and around, creating the same pattern over and over again. And, neither of them feels deeply loved by the other.

So, what do they do?

Alana: They keep creating patterns.

Kirk: And then what happens?

Alana: They keep creating patterns.

Kirk: And then they keep creating, and creating, and creating...

Alana: The universe is endless, you know.

Kirk: And then eventually what happens?

Alana: They keep creating patterns. (Laughter)

Kirk: Until!?

Alana: Until, guess what? They take a step and say, “I am grateful because I can breathe. I am grateful because I can feel. I am grateful because I desire to know myself.” Guess what? The pattern begins to shift.

Eventually, as we learn to know ourselves so vastly and so wonderfully, we will be able to walk up to another and say, “What is it that I can do to assist you today? What is it that I can do to contribute to your well-being?”

When we extend ourselves outward where our needs, feelings, and the knowingness of our identity are filled by others externally, we are saying, “Universe, I only know who I am by my external feedback.” The universe replies, “Oh well. You are coming from a place of not knowing. Let’s give you more not knowing.” The universe just loves, and it wishes to give back to you what you desire.

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