Step Four - Allowing What I Receive To Be Present
Alana: Yes Kirk, because we often have a difficult time believing in ourselves. The fourth step is allowing whatever you receive to be present without judgments.
Kirk: How do you do that if a judgment comes up? What do you do with the self-judgment?
Alana: You say, "Thank you judgment! Thank you."
Kirk: So you don't tell your judgment to shut up; you include your judgment?
Alana: Yes, you include whatever judgments you have and then say thank you.
What I am indicating when I say "without judgment," is if judgment comes up in your process thank it. Actually your judgment wishes to make you more aware of your authentic self. It is pointing you in a direction to identify what you value. In this way we don’t stop at the judgment and create a limiting response.
Kirk: Are there any more tips you wish to give on this fourth step, "Allowing What You Receive To Be Present?" It seems that the essence of this step is to give yourself the space and permission to allow whatever shows up to be present.
Alana: That's correct. In this fourth step of allowing, it sounds very easy, but it can really be quite difficult for it requires us to develop an observer in a sense. Here the critic voice can come in and bombard us with the "shoulds" and the various expectations can become ignited as well. We have a grand opportunity in this stage of discovery to reflect on all the expectations that exist within us; ones that have been adopted from others as truth, as well as the ones that have evolved through conditioning and environment. A contractive or reflective state is often the precursor to expanding into a state of allowing. We have an opportunity to move from our external observations of what we think defines us, to our internal observations of what we believe, and then to our deeper more authentic expressions of self.
Kirk: I think that the most powerful revelations I have ever had from doing these types of processes is the information that seemed to come from the so called dark side. It was hard to acknowledge some of the things that came to mind; emotions that I could have easily judged as selfish, angry, or bitter. But, as I let them be present and got to know these parts of me that were generating these types of experiences, I found that they weren't really my dark side at all. The core intention of these parts of myself was to bring forth values that were just as important as any of my other values. The only reason I would have judged them as my dark side is because I hadn't done step four. I hadn't allowed myself to be present with whatever I received.
Alana: Yes Kirk, this is a rich process.
Kirk: An example of this is a miner, rock collector, or gemologist. At first they discover something that on the outside looks like a piece of craggily old rock. But as they are able to investigate further into the ugly rock, they often find a valuable and beautiful gem. So in the same way, discovering and then allowing what once appeared on the surface to be dark (bad, wrong), showed me some very important parts of myself--some new gems.
What kind of encouragement can you offer to people to help them embrace all aspects of their being?
Alana: I suggest a person create a "bless you" statement, or even a mantra that they can say to themselves on a daily basis. A couple of examples are, "Every step I take, and every action I make, is a step on my path to discovery." Or, "I am a loving human being and I am here learning and growing."
I encourage people to come up with whatever statements reflect kindness, love, and acceptance while pointing to realization. Embracing compassion and forgiveness is one of the universal principals that connect us to the truth of who we are. Embracing the dark side is also about embracing our full spiritual being.
Kirk: Can you shed any light on why many people find it so difficult to allow whatever they receive to be present?
Alana: Yes. People often find it so very difficult to surrender to what they are really good at and what brings them joy. They often think that if they did what they really enjoyed, they wouldn't succeed or they would be irresponsible. Collectively we are so programmed to thinking that to be successful, life has to be hard. Human nature is so very familiar with struggling. This step will help balance this misconception. This is what discovering your authentic self is really about, learning how to release the vast amounts of life struggle so one can begin to really understand who they are. Stepping into one's authentic nature creates a much easier and less stressful pattern of existence.