If I Just Didn't Have To, I'd Be Happy If ...


Kirk: So very good. What is step two? Where do we go in our affirmations for getting in touch with life purpose?

Alana: After you create an intention to notice and acknowledge yourself, you follow with step two.

Step Two - "If I just didn't have to..."

You begin to look at your life and ask yourself what are the activities, thoughts, and actions that are distractive to you. In other words, what are the things that you do each day where you say, "If I just didn't have to <fill in the blank>, I could be happy." Then journal what you become aware of as you answer this question.

Kirk: Do you recommend that people write their answers down?

Alana: I am recommending that a person becomes aware. Some people have different ways of keeping track of what they become aware of. One person might need to write it down, where another might just notice it. Do whatever works for you and will engage you fully in this process.

We will discuss more about this step after we also do step three.

Step Three - "I could be happy if..."

Next ask yourself the more general question, "I could be happy if <fill in the blank>." Allow the statement to include an “if.” This way your being won't feel pressured. Then see what comes up for you.

Kirk: Could you give some examples of this?

Alana: Sure, how about:

I could be happy if I had more time to watch TV. I could be happy if I could take my dog for a walk more than once a day. I could be happy if I would learn how to sing. I could be happy if I had a new job. I could be happy if I had more love in my life. I could be happy if I lived in a new house.

This is discovery time. Steps two and three are very interesting. You are going to see that both steps actually begin to say the same thing. When you look at them both you will see where they begin to overlap. This is what begins to point you to your priorities. This will help you sort and balance. Notice what keeps showing up.

Kirk: Yes, because motivation is either towards pleasure or away from pain. Whenever we move away from something, we are also moving towards something. It just depends on how you look at it. If someone says, "I am being distracted and spending too much time doing XYZ," the flip side of that is what they would be doing if they weren't getting distracted in the first place. They will say, "Well, I would be over there doing this."

Alana: Yes, and now the question is how does this relate to authentic self. How does this relate to getting to the essence of our being? It is like we are peeling an onionskin. We are beginning to turn the intention towards our self, peeling away layers. It may take some time doing this type of discovery to peel away these many layers.

Kirk: Great. To review, we have step one, which is to make an affirmation starting wherever we are. Step two is doing a process to become aware of where we are distracted. Step three is doing a process where we begin to imagine what we would do if we could. We can do these steps by writing, thinking, or talking to a friend of ours. Can there be items on step three's list that are not practical?

Alana: Please, give yourself lots of room to express!

Kirk: Can they be big things?

Alana: Yes, like I would be happy if I could parachute from an airplane!

Kirk: Okay. Even bigger?

Alana: Yes, "I would be happy if I could instill peace into the world."

Kirk: Great. That is pretty big. I hope somebody picks that!

OK, I think this would be a good time to review steps two and three.

Alana: Delightful.

Kirk: In step three you have us fill in the blank in the question, "If I just didn't have to?" There may be some people that might have objections to this part of the process. They may wonder why they should spend time answering the question, "If I just didn't have to..." when there seem to be so many things they have to do. They may feel like they have no choice in the matter. This process may confuse them.

Alana: In one's life there are often things we’ve made a commitment to and set into motion; therefore, we may feel we have to do them. However, I am encouraging people to play with this question. Get into a rhythm by allowing the "inner critic" to ignite and participate in the process. You could compare this to a complaining session where people get together and complain so they may release what’s stored inside them.

Kirk: Like a gripe session.

Alana: Yes, a gripe session, in a way. In this process Alana is invoking an opportunity to get in touch with the energy of release. Release creates space and room for other things to come into one's attention. So actually, in this exercise we are doing primarily two things: 1.) We are creating energy that will invoke release; 2.) We are bringing into consciousness some of the things people are doing where they are not in touch with their ability to make a choice. It is a very potent exercise, because ignites energy into motion.

Kirk: So this exercise is more about amplifying our energy and getting it moving than it is about complaining, whining, or being a victim. By expressing our "have to's", "must's", "need to's", "shoulds", or "ought to's" we are opening ourselves up for discovery. For example, if someone says, "If I didn't have to take my kids back and forth to school every day, I would have more time for creativity." Or, "If I didn't have to spend all this time commuting to work, I could spend more time with my kids." This exercise will help them become more aware.

Alana: Yes, and it will also invoke the judge within one's self. They will get to feel their powerful judgment. One of the confusing things about this step is that often people will shy away from the energy of judgment. This is because they don't want to feel what judgment can bring up, or they judge their judgment. I am encouraging everyone to just give him or herself permission to judge and be demonstrative.

Kirk: To just go ahead and judge away. If we catch ourselves judging the judgment, we can say, "If I only didn't have to judge myself every time I judged."

Alana: Yes! Have fun and play. This exercise is about energy, and it is about release. It is about building up energy into a vibration that will eventually become a consciousness shift.

Kirk: It looks like step three is the sibling to step two. Here we answer the question, "I could be happy if..." We fill in the blank. Do your comments about step two apply to step three?

Alana: Yes, however step three will be much easier to do than step two. In step two an individual works with their judgments, and this can often bring up attachment and expectations, which connect us to the pain we hold within or where we may feel helpless. It can also point to a lot of external referencing. Step three can also bring up stuff, but it is much easier to identify with the things that ignite pleasure, dreaming, and desire.

Kirk: Some examples are: "I could be happy if I won the lottery" or "I could be happy if I didn't have to go to dinner at my mother-in-law's house each week."

Alana: "I could be happy if my husband kissed me goodnight each night", "I could be happy if I had a better education", "I could be happy if I lived in a warm climate", "I would be happy if I could swim with the dolphins."

Play with thoughts like these and just have fun. We are now invoking the energy of play and imagination. Every step creates energy and it spins around in the beautiful pattern of self. It creates energy that is representational of the consciousness that lives within.

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