Love Relationships


Question: I was in a relationship and seeing someone for about 5-1/2 months. We were intimate, but for some odd reason beyond me, he won't have anything to do with me now. We had a screaming match with each other (we had fought before) but we always managed to come back together.

Well, it appears he been dating and has someone else, Alana. I am having a hard time emotionally in letting the him go, just like that. I tried to page him and have even tried to remain friendly, but he seems to blame me for the whole thing. I owned up to my part and made an apology to him. I don't like the rejection. I have tried and tried to let go but I just feel he will come back. I feel lost without him. I was truly in love with him and he knew that. I miss his companionship, intelligence, and humor.

I want to know how to go on when I don't find myself wanting to date anyone other than him. Friends say I have given him way too much power over me and that I deserve better and should start dating others. But it is hard. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I am lost and confused with his actions, too. I would like to know if there is a way I could win his love back. Thanks, Alana. I am truly trying to trust my heart and could use your advice.

Answer: Dear one, thank you for your question. Alana feels within you a desire to find love, experience love, and know love. As we go through life, we experience love in many different ways. We experience love as children with our families. We experience different levels of love through our environment--what we connect to and appreciate. We also experience the exchange of love through those we date and see as companions. We eventually find that love is a consistent vibration that is everywhere. Eventually, we recognize that love is all that is, and that we are always full of love.

What I am speaking of is part of why we experience life in the way that we do. It is because we are learning how to elevate our energy so we can find that we are whole within.

As Alana feels and senses your question, and feels the confusion that sits within it, I would like to point you in a direction. I'd like to help you feel your own nature within so you can recognize that you are not dependent on an outside source to make you whole. As you begin to recognize this, you will find that complexities in your relationship--ones that feel like confusion regarding responsibility or anger--will then direct you back into yourself. This will create honesty within and point you towards your needs and values. As you do this, you will gain a greater understanding of what you can do specifically to take care of your own needs. As you do this, you will begin to find more love, more joy, more happiness, more satisfaction. You will not be dependent on an outside source-whether a person, a place, or a thing--to make you feel whole.

Now, Alana is not discounting love or saying that relationships are not valuable. What Alana is saying is that the more we become full within ourselves, the more we can attract a partner where we will co-create together in ways that are supportive of each other. This way we can be two whole individuals creating a third entity. This entity will aspire to be love, know love, have love, and express love.

So, dear one, as you go on this journey of self-discovery, and as you become more in touch with your nature, you will find that the relationships around you will begin to heal. They will begin to transform into quality relationships that will support all. You will thrive and they will thrive. You will find that some of those relationships from your past will come back into your life. Then you will see them in a new way and in a new light.

Alana senses that the relationship that you just had was brought to you for a magnificent lesson. This is a grand opportunity for you to learn more about yourself. You do have a soul mate in your future, and there is more then one possibility. Until your light shines bright from within, it will be difficult for this soul mate vibration to find you. So, congratulate yourself for bringing this 5-1/2 month relationship into your life to catalyze these important life lessons.

It is magnificent that you brought forth this question and this amount of confusion in such a short time. Many take a lifetime to bring forth such confusion. You see, confusion is a high-vibration state. It means that you are growing.

Seize this opportunity to grow, to know and honor yourself, to fill yourself up with the love that is within all that is. Your true power lies within. Once you realized this, you will no longer need to give your power to others and feel that you are less than whole without them in your life. Know you are whole, and so shall it be.

Thank you, dear one, for bringing forth this magnificent question. Alana feels that it will help many that are in the confusion of love.

--Alana