Relationships


Question: I'm wondering how to become more aware of the dynamics of emotions within a troubled relationship. I want to learn where a thought begins as people relate, and how to be more aware of my own dynamic and the dynamic of the person (or group) with whom I'm relating.

Answer: What Alana wishes to say to this sweet being is that, because we are all one, the dynamics are always within all of us on some level. In other words, when a situation occurs in any relationship, perhaps our nature may only vibrate with one percent of the energy presented. Nevertheless, because we are connected to all-that-is, the energy is still within us.

We may have another relationship situation come up and we may feel it much more intensely. We may feel it so fully that it clearly mirrors that the dynamic is within our nature. Let's say that eighty-five percent, for example, of our being reacts against it or resonates with it. Then we have the knowingness that we are more attached, involved, or connected to whatever we are responding. Therefore we get to own more of what we sense within ourselves.

This is the way to tell where the dynamic begins or ends when two or more people are relating. This is how you can discern where the feelings begin within you and where they begin within others. Notice what percentage of your nature vibrates with a given situation and how much emotional attention you give it. If it is one percent, then so be it. Then you can tell that perhaps the other person's attachment is stronger and it begins within them. If your nature has an eighty-five percent response, then perhaps you can tell that it begins more so within you.

The purpose of this question feels like wanting to learn a way to discern how to sort your feelings and how to respond with self-compassion for the emotions you experience. We often attempt to understand emotional responses by trying to analyze who first "caused" the situation. It really has more to do with how much of our natures relate at any given moment.

We continually co-create situations within our relationships to become more aware of where we have reservoirs of energy that wish to be channeled, cleared, released, healed, embraced, acknowledged, or understood. Whatever our needs or beliefs, our natures will lead us in the direction of continually returning to those reservoirs.

Thank you for your question, dear one. Alana sends compassion to guide you to emotional clairity through this troubled relationship.

--Alana