Hot and Cold Relationships


Question: I have a male friend who seems to care about me. He runs hot and cold, saying he wants friendship, but acts like he wants more. He is aware that I care about him and it seems that just when he starts to let down his guard, he pulls back. I feel like I need to tell him goodbye, but I love him and the thought of doing so just breaks my heart. But I can't let things go on like this, it breaks my heart too. Can you give me some insight into this relationship and what I should do? Thank you Alana, for your advice, I would appreciate your suggestions!

Answer: Hello, dear one! Thank you for your question. Alana feels that there are two parts to this question that I want to talk about. For the first part, let us talk about you, dear one. Alana feels that the more you discern what brings you happiness, and take steps in that direction, fulfilling your own happiness, the more simplicity will move into your life. Then, your thoughts will be more occupied with what you are doing each day directing your own destiny, as well as the steps and actions that are creating fulfillment for you, and the love within you, that is about you. By doing this you will realize more and more that your personal well-being, fulfillment, and joy is a direct relationship of what you contribute to yourself.

Secondly, Alana wants to honor your desire to have a relationship and to share your life with someone who is mutually as loving as you. As you hold this image, Alana feels that you will attract a mate that does have within him the willingness to share love, be love, and have love.

Now let's go to the second part of your question and go into the vibration of this friend of yours. Alana feels that part of what he is going through is healing the definition that exists within him of an old belief. It's a notion that feels that when you surrender to love you lose something of yourself. He is beginning to weigh and balance what his beliefs are in this area.

As we know, the truth is that the more that you surrender to love in it's many forms, the more love that is brought into your life. The more love that is in your life, the more love you continually create. But you see, there are many that have within them beliefs that say that if they surrender to another, they lose their identity. Dear one, this is okay because this teaches a person how to be in touch with and honor their values and needs.

It feels that the more you turn towards your joys, the more this individual may see that they may be left out of your life. This is because you will grow and surpass the need to be in a relationship that is not fulfilling.

You can tell this individual about what your dreams are, what your visions are, and what you would like to create in your life. You do not need to attach responsibility to him. Just say, "This is what I would like. This is what I believe. This is what I sense." It is up to him to decide if he would also like to have these same qualities in his life. Your clarification may create a spark of interest in him. Sometimes watching another individual grow creates a desire for growth in the other. Do you see?

So, be an example, dear one. Fulfill your dreams. Do keep the image of love alive. Alana feels you will definitely attract companionship, love, and a mate in your life. Thank you, dear one.

--Alana