Relationships


Question: Dear Alana, can you tell me what happens to certain men who become emotionally unavailable? Why are so many women attracted to them? I would appreciate any advice you could give us women on this complexing love relationship issue.

Answer: Hello, dear one. Your question is definitely one that we could talk about for a long time. There is much information here to share. Alana will create an intention to bring essential information in the short period of time that we have now.

First of all, women are often attracted to men that are sometimes emotionally unavailable because within them they have already established a pattern that represents this kind of dynamic.

It could be that when they were little girls their parental father vibration was not as available as they wished. Perhaps they didn't feel the bond or as closely bonded as they would have liked. Perhaps their father vibration had a job and worked long hours. Therefore, they did not feel connected at the depths they wished to. It may be because while growing up they did not feel that they were able to communicate fully with both of their parents. This could create an impression within them that a partner is someone that they cannot communicate with fully. Sometimes it may be because in looking at their parents, they saw that their mother and father did not have clear communication. In this case, there was a pattern that came into their awareness because of observing their parental communications.

So, many different things can contribute to finding men that are emotionally unavailable. Usually, it is a pattern that has been established within the self. This pattern represents a way that love is expressed.

Why this occurs within men, and why men sometimes become unavailable, has much to do with the same thing. It is a pattern that they learn. What we are really talking about here is a polarity. It is a polarity within the feminine and the masculine vibrations expressing on opposing ends of the polarity. Do you see? So, yes, dear one, when an individual is emotionally unavailable, it is not much different than when an individual feels that they are unable to receive. It is one and the same.

To begin to heal this pattern is to begin to heal our inner awareness. We begin to heal beliefs that we are separate, beliefs where we feel that we must do things alone. We begin to heal beliefs that say that we are not safe if we fully surrender to another person.

This whole question is all about separation, really. It is all about the fear of losing love or the fear of having love. As we begin to release the dichotomies that exist within us, and begin to heal our own polarities within, the outer world will begin to shift and change. We will begin to attract a different type of dynamic.

Dear one, worry not about men that are not available. Turn your thoughts more to what you would like to receive. Begin to build within you an integration of self. This happens through self-love. As you do this, emotionally unavailable men will melt out of your life. New vibrations will show up that are much more in alignment with what you want to create now.

Thank you for this question, dear one. Through time, many men will begin to heal this aspect within them in much the same way. Men often have had to suppress much within them to be the provider and to be the strong one. (We could talk on and on about this.) As men heal their feminine and masculine natures within, they will become more available to themselves. Then they will be more available to others.

Thank you, dear one.

-- Alana