Relationship Differences


Question: I have a business in which I rent out fish tanks. It's only being going for a year and a half. My problem is that I dearly love this job with fish and tanks, but my wife, who I dearly love, sometimes gets very negative about my job. She asks why don't I get a real job that brings in regular money each week. Sometimes I wonder why I don't throw it all in and get a job that I necessarily don't enjoy, but brings in the money just to keep my wife happy. My business is struggling, but I love it. I honestly don't know what to do any more.

Answer: Hello, dear one. Alana appreciates your question. It feels like a question that is important for others to hear because it is about the dynamics that exist within a relationship, as well as one's desires to follow one's heart.

Alana feels that when two individuals come together and decide to live with each other, there is a certain agreement made to support each other in finding happiness. The question is whether or not each individual is responsible for the other. It also brings up how to be together while allowing each individual to still maintain their individuality, joys, and personal fulfillment. Alana feels this is a dance. Much of this dance is learning how to communicate with each other with total honesty.

First of all, Alana suggests the two of you sit down and share the essence that exists within you. In other words, share your individuality. Each one of you could create a list, or create an expression, or documentation about what you feel are your greatest values. Which of those values are negotiable? Which are non-negotiable? What brings you the greatest joy? Sit down and share your values with each other. This will help you create a certain amount of respect for each other because you will now have greater understanding. You will gain a greater rapport of what your wife appreciates, needs, desires, and wants. In the same way, she will gain a sense of who you are and what your identity is fully about. She will learn more ways to support you.

Secondly, what you can do is create a common thread between you. In other words, set some goals together. Set some reasonable, possible attainments that the two of you can work on together. Create a possible way that this could happen. What you are doing is honoring your individuality and recognizing ways to support each other in your individual expressions. You are considering ways for the two of you to create a common bond that you both can work towards. This will help in creating more clarity in your relationship. Both of you will feel a deeper connection because you will be working together on something. Alana senses that if you do these two things your wife will have a much better understanding of the joys you can receive in your business. In addition, you will probably find another way to create more income.

Alana feels there is one more thing here to remind you. It feels that you are learning about your individuality and how to be your own person. Perhaps it is time to realign certain beliefs within you that say there is scarcity--if you express your full nature, others will not be happy. Perhaps you may challenge your old beliefs and create new ones. Feel within yourself possibilities as you create joy in your life that others are happy to see you happy! You can have a profitable thriving business doing the things that you love. Check into your thinking, listen to your thoughts. See where your beliefs are holding you back and learn to turn towards that which you chose to create. See possibilities in a greater way.

Alana appreciates your question. It was very delightful to answer a question that Alana feels will serve many.

Thank you, dear one!

--Alana