Conflict Resolution Tips

Question: When one undergoes a major challenge in life, how can one use negative responses in such way that they might be transformed into more harmonious and light-filled experiences? I would appreciate any tips you may have to help me resolve the conflicts I fell faced with.

Answer: Hello, dear one. It is delightful to hear from you again and alana is delighted to share some tips for resolving what appears as negativity. Alana loves your question because it is one that can help many. Many people have this question and have not quite figured out how to ask it in such an elegant way.

First of all, when we sit within a challenge, or a situation comes to us and feels like it is testing us--bringing about a certain amount of stress into our life--we are at a crossroads. We are at a place where we may attain great self awareness and learn new lessons. Recognize that conflicts and challenges are there for discovery. Challenges can bring within us a new sense of identity and strengthen our connection to our inner nature and all that is.

You see, dear one, when we have a conflict it is a grand opportunity. Knowing this, when a challenge occurs, there is a part of you that can say, "Oh good, I am about to experience a greater sense of myself."

When the responses that come back to you are quite negative, and feel like the other person's vibration is filled with fear, separation, or guilt--really any of the dynamics that are elements of separation--then recognize that you are experiencing the dynamics of a polarity. Polarity swings from connection to disconnection. At one moment there is connection, and the next moment there is separation. When you are within a negative experience, know that the only two options that can happen are separation or healing--the two polarities.

Your being can continue to feel separate or it can swing to the place of sensing connection. In situations where the responses are very negative, ask yourself what the primal thought is--your most basic belief--and then look for it within the polarity. If you were to fully express compassion for yourself and others, on which end of the polarity would it swing?

When we experience a high percentage of inner response to a given situation, our natures will identify with this response and feel it in our body in a strong way. When we have a small percentage of inner response, we will have thoughts like, "Oh, there they go again. They are doing that again." We will feel calm, detached, and more like an observer. In this case, the experience will not resonate inside of us in a strong way.

When in these kinds of experiences, just sense your body and feel it. If the outside experience resonates strongly on the inside, then you can say, "Ah ha!" This situation is just another experience from which I will benefit.

You see, you are at a place of opportunity to gain a sense of self-awareness. You can know that something within you wishes to heal. A co-creation of this nature, which brings about challenges and negative responses, is a vast opportunity to create self-awareness and an opportunity to resolve inner and outer conflict. This is the positive intention that you can create for yourself. Remember that intention is what draws situations to you. The more that your intention is about love, the more clearly, quickly, and easily you will be able to move through challenges.

Thank you, dear one, for your beautiful question. Alana really enjoyed your question, and you are blessed dear one. Thank you!

-- Alana