Question: My grandson is misbehaving and using negative language at school.
Plus, he's been known to hit or kick other kids and will not listen to anyone.
He is very much loved by all of us and we are at loss for a real solution for his behaviors. He is in the first grade.
What can we do to correct his behaviors towards the other kids and get him to listen to how he should behave while among other people? It seems like we have tried everything with no positive end results.
Your help, time, and advise would be greatly appreciated.
Answer: Hello dear one, thank you for bringing your question for helping parents and children who misbehave to Alana.
Alana appreciates your connection with your grandchild and can feel that he is at an age where he is testing those around him to determine how they will react to his nature. Children learn by the reaction of others. Children are also individuals that desire much attention, affection, and presence.
Alana feels that your grandson, through some of his actions, is attempting to get more love as he tests boundaries. In other words, it feels like he is a very sensitive child which much feeling and is looking for ways to channel the sensitivity he picks up from his thoughts through his child awareness.
It feels on some days he wants the adults around him to step up and match his energy and intensity. In other words, he is seeking others that will be on as equals to him, or express at his level and play with him like children do.
He wishes the adults around him to be more childlike and actually play games with him. To move into his vibration and be more like his nature. It feels like he thinks he is not getting enough one on one attention. Perhaps his parents have much responsibility and are busy with their work and day to day activities. Some children need additional one on one attention and guidance.
Sometimes it feels like your grandson wants to be the center of attention to help him fulfill this need. He is learning how to gain attention through behaviors that are difficult for those around him, but he is finding it meets a need he has.
Alana suggests that adults around him make sure that each day your grandson has one on one parental attention devoted to communication. Ask him how he feels about certain things and converse with him on a level that embraces his wisdom as well. He will feel included and heard as he is treatied as an equal during this one on one time. Talk to him like he is a little adult and he will feel a greater sense of connection and this will help him pattern new behaviors. He will feel that those around him are really connected to him.
It is difficult to know exactly how to be fully conscious when raising a child. As adults we have many duties to attend to, like our daily jobs and managing our livelihood. Also, it is not always easy to remember to honor a child's wisdom through communicating in a way the child can relate (which helps them understand our perspective as well). This creates an exchange that is supportive.
Perhaps, try a couple of these ideas to build better communcation and interaction. Give him more one on one time that is devoted to listening and talking on a level that respects his knowledge as well. It feels that this is a transition time for him. He will eventually grow through this behavior and be less reactive in these ways with this type of additional nurturing and connection.
Thank you for your delightful question.